My Season of Firsts: The Grief Journey So Far

It is hard to believe that it has been seven months since Maestro crossed Rainbow Bridge. I decided that it would be cathartic to reflect upon my grief journey so far.

The First Summer: Keep Moving and Don't Think

Maestro and I usually packed in numerous day trips in the summertime. We did everything from attending outdoor concerts to cloud gazing in the park. He enjoyed trips to downtown Calgary just as much as jaunts to Turner Valley and Black Diamond.

Maestro does Waterton Park. Photo: R-M Arca.

I didn't feel ready to tackle any of those activities without my furkid, and with teaching and the concert season winding down for the summer, I had more pressing things to attend to. Enter special events.

I got a part-time casual job as Events Staff for a security company. All of the events were outdoor musical events and festivals. It seemed like a natural progression for a musician/usher/samurai-in-training. 

It was also the perfect way for me to get out and have new adventures. Show up at the event, get briefed, and hit the ground running. Keep moving and don't think: #AchievementUnlocked .

Our dojo had its annual summer seminars, which also kept me busy. Swinging swords for days on end was active meditation at its best. It's amazing what active meditation does for one's heart and soul.

The First Fall: What Would Maestro Do?

The fall was incredibly busy. The events job wound down for the summer. However, I started a new part-time job in a school, so I am juggling two jobs plus teaching. The shock to my system was sorely needed. I had grown complacent in my routines. Now, I am forced to manage my time more effectively (but that's another series of posts). I think I'm just starting to get the hang of a routine that doesn't centre around Maestro's appointments, medication, and sleeping schedule. 

R2-D2, Maestro's minion, has been helping out by greeting the studio families. He also chirps happily when someone plays well and swears when someone doesn't. Sounds suspiciously like some furball I know.

Maestro and R2-D2 were a unit when it came to waiting for students or demanding treats. Photo: R-M Arca.

This year, I welcomed two new piano students, one from a current studio family and one from a studio family from a few years ago. I was actually relieved to not go through the audition-interview process alone with a brand new family.

It hadn't really sunk in until that point just how much I relied on Maestro when interviewing prospective studio families. Looking back, I can tell you that I watched Maestro's eyes, ears, tail, and behaviour for cues. If he was comfortable with the family, then I knew that they would be a good fit for our studio.

"What would Maestro do?" has cropped up in lessons this year, along with "Would Maestro clear you on that arpeggio? I don't think he would, so I can't possibly clear you on it yet."

Sometimes, students and studio parents tap the percussion tree or one of Maestro's instruments for old time's sake. We share a wistful smile or a chuckle, recalling how Maestro would come stomping into the studio to say, "Hey! That's mine!" 

One piano mom found it hard to come inside the studio for the first time after Maestro passed away. She teared up as she looked around at the various Maestro mementos and his pawprints. Maestro has clearly left his mark on his studio.

Maestro and his many instruments. Photo: R-M Arca.

The First Holidays: Have a Good Cry and Move On

Driving to my parents' for Thanksgiving was hard. At first, I was congratulating myself for not turning into a blubbering mess. Then, my CD player randomly switched to Dancing Queen. I started to belt out the lyrics, just as Maestro and I would on our car rides. That's when I lost it.

My family saw the tears, nodded, gave me a hug, and then we carried on with the weekend.

Even Halloween was teary. Maestro would get all decked out for our Halloween Piano Parties. He also looked forward to my dojo's pumpkin tameshigiri class in October. He was the primary beneficiary of pureed pumpkin, enthusiastically so. I automatically started to pack many pumpkins into my bags and containers after training, but then tearfully realized that I no longer need that much.

Batdog and Batgirl prepare for the Halloween Piano Party. Photo: C. Kohl.

Fast forward to Christmas. Part of me was dreading Christmas this year. Maestro loved Christmas so much. He got impatient because I could never put up the tree fast enough for his liking. Then, he would park himself in front of the tree to guard it, along with any presents that appeared. Ditto for the studio Christmas tree shown below:

Gimme presents. Now. Photo: R-M Arca.

In fact, I was contemplating whether to decorate at all, knowing that it would hurt so much. I decided to decorate in the end as I figured that if I delay any of these firsts, it would only be harder next year. Besides, I could just picture Maestro standing on a heavenly cloud, barking angrily at me at the mere thought of not putting up his Christmas tree.

Dad was over when I put the tree up. Through tears, I told Dad what Maestro would do as we decorated. It felt good to get the tree and decorations up. Next year will be easier.

This Christmas, I made photo ornaments of all our furry family members, past and present for the family tree. It was a wonderful trip down memory lane.

The Arca family dogs through the years, as shown on Maestro's tree. Photo: R-M Arca.

Christmas has come and gone. It wasn't as hard as I was expecting it to be. We shared funny stories about all of our furry family members. Mom even gave Angel Maestro a little stuffie to place beside his urn. I also was able to spend quality time with friends I haven't seen in quite a while.

Last week, we got a huge snow dump. I dug a maze in the backyard, for old time's sake. Maestro really liked his mazes:

We've had quite a bit of snow this month. Maestro has a snow maze in the back yard.

Earlier this week, the Lakeland Terrier calendar that I ordered arrived. Maestro makes a posthumous appearance in March with the feature photo for this post. Sale proceeds go towards helping two terrier rescue groups. How apropos that he shares March with another Caliente Lakie.

Honour the Journey

Once, I told a student that with Maestro having played a huge part in my life on a personal as well as professional level, I've had to get to know myself as well as Musespeak all over again, and get used to this new dynamic.

As I adjust to the changes, I'm also dealing with a lot of crap. There are things that got postponed for far too long, as well as years of clutter that I'm dealing with. There's literal crap too. Perhaps I should put a tracker in my Bullet Journal to remind me to put enzymes in Maestro's Waste Manager Disposal System.

The waves of grief come farther apart now. Sometimes, it's like Christmas, where I have a quick cry and move on. Other times, it hits so unexpectedly. It's the little things that do it. There was the dull ache that lead to a dam bursting upon seeing a puppy pulling on his leash. He wanted to make his human cross the street more quickly.

There was the quick stab of emotion when I choked up while trying to sing Dancing Queen. I'll keep trying. One of these days, I'll be able to belt it out with a smile instead of tears.

If there's anything that I've learned, it's to respect the journey. If you feel sad, that's okay. Take the time to let it out. Ride the wave and have a good cry. It shows how much of an impact that person or pet has had on your life. 

The other thing I've learned is to take time. All these little firsts take a lot of energy - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I was exhausted after putting up the Christmas tree. That was a good reminder to not schedule anything other than rest after going through a big first.

More people are starting to ask me whether I'll be getting a new dog soon. My answer: Someday, but not yet. Let me get more crap out of the way, get through a couple more gradings, and maybe squeeze in a trip first. The journey continues.

Maestro's 2016/17 Studio Challenges - Part 1

When Maestro crossed Rainbow Bridge, my students and I agreed that at least one challenge will forever be Maestro's, regardless of who the current Studio Assistant is (right now, it's R2-D2). Until a new canine studio assistant is brought in, all the challenges will remain in Maestro's name.

This year, I made two big changes to Maestro's Student Challenges. The first is that I separated the Musician Survival Skills Challenges and the Music Moxie Challenges. The biggest change, however, is how my students and I are approaching piano technique. It's been a bit of a gamble, especially with the ones preparing for an exam, but it's paying off.

2016/17 Challenge Theme: Focus

Last year, Maestro and I ran his Karate Belt Challenges to measure students' progress in piano technique, musician survival skills (e.g., ear training, sight-reading, rhythm work), and music moxie (performing, composing, etc.). My students had a fun time designing their avatars. Two had a little game of Hide & Seek going on where they'd hide each other's avatars. 

Some of the avatars that my students created last year for Maestro's Karate Belt Challenges. Photo: R-M Arca.

Looking back, there were a few drawbacks to this set-up. First, it was impossible to get through all of the weekly challenges, plus repertoire, and theory in a single lesson. Secondly, it took some students a really long time to get through their technique challenges.

This year, the students are only working on one or two challenges at any given time, most of the time. In September, is the Back Basics Challenge and the Technique Challenge.

The Back to Basics Challenge was pretty simple. The students had approximately five challenges a week, in which they demonstrated what they remembered about posture, articulation, tempo, and dynamics.

Piano Technique Challenge

One thing I wanted to do this year is make a clearer connection between those dreaded scales, chords, and arpeggios with keyboard theory (and then later, written theory). That way, could work on chording and faking with much earlier in the year. 

For the first two months, we focussed on arpeggios and just arpeggios. We started with C Major and minor and travelled around the Circle of Fifths, playing the tonic major and minor arpeggios. We also worked on rhythm, sub-division, shaping, accents, and weight transfer ad nauseum.

My students began to string together several arpeggios. Most probably didn't realize that I was getting them to string the tonic, sub-dominant, and dominant chords together, but they did discover that if you pick keys close to each other on the Circle of Fifths, they string together rather nicely. Many powered through this fairly quickly.

Next came tonic major and minor triads. This is where most of my students are currently. Good enough for them to fake their way through Christmas songs if they are put on the spot this past Christmas Break.

Once they complete their trip around the Circle of Fifths, we'll go back to the top and work through the I-IV-V-I chord progression in earnest. That will be the first order of business after Christmas Break, followed by scales and modes. By that time, I hope that my students have started to make stronger connections between the technical elements in their music and between their technique and theory.

So far, one of my Grade 8 piano students has progressed to the scales portion of Maestro's Technique Challenge. She's enjoying it much more than in years past because she's also working on modes, the Hindu scale, blues, major pentatonic, and the Spanish/Jewish scale. That's standard fare for my Conservatory Canada Contemporary Idioms students, but she's in the Royal Conservatory.  It's a whole new world of harmonies for her.

By the time all of my students complete the challenges for their level, they will know much more technique than what is listed in the conservatory syllabus for their playing level. That's fine. They will have enough tools in their "musician's toolbox" to be a versatile valued member in any ensemble.

For those who are interested in how I broke down the challenges, you may download the file here.

My students and I recently completed Maestro's Ear Training Challenge and are currently working through his Rhythm Challenge. More on those next time. Stay tuned!

My DIY Samurai Kanzashi

One of the things that seems common with sword arts practicioners is a hankering for sword-themed accessories, such as sword keychains, sword earrings, sword-themed bags, and so on. I tend to wear my hair long and pin it up with hair clips or hair sticks. It was only a matter of time before I began scouring the Internet for "samurai kanzashi."

My searches never quite hit jackpot. That's when I began wandering local craft stores for DIY hair stick ideas. As I stood staring at knitting needles and hat pins, I thought, "This doesn't feel right." It was only once I walked into an Asian grocery store and spied a set of metal chopsticks that the katana hair stick idea began to take shape. 

Here's a look at how I transformed a set of chopsticks into DIY Samurai Kanzashi:

DIY Sword Hair Sticks Step 1

Buy metal chopsticks from your local Asian supermarket.(Cost: approximately $2). Credit: R-M Arca.

DIY Sword Hair Sticks Step 2

Paint the handles the same colour as the same (ray or shark skin wrapping) on your sword with acrylic paint. Credit: R-M Arca.

DIY Sword Hair Sticks Step 3

Seal your paint job with Workable Fixatif in a well-ventilated area. Credit: R-M Arca.

DIY Sword Hair Sticks Step 4

Buy the remaining components from a beading store: faux leather wrap for the tsuka wrapping, Chinese coin pendants for the tsuba (hand guard). Cost: approximately $5. Credit: R-M Arca.

DIY Sword Hair Sticks Steps 5 & 6

Calculate how much wrapping you need and wrap the faux leather around the handle, criss-crossing. Tie a knot at the end and secure with super glue. Then secure the tsuka with a hair elastic which functions as the habaki. Credit: R-M Arca.

Kanzashi wo dekimashita!

Let dry, style and secure your hair with your new DIY samurai hair sticks. Then impress your sensei, samurai friends, and students. Then scare the school kids you work with by playing with them. Credit: R-M Arca.

It took me approximately three days from purchasing components to project completion. It wasn't particularly difficult once I figured out my supplies. This pair matches my iaito. 

I'll definitely make more in the future. Some of my piano students have asked that I make them as incentive prizes.

Preparing My Students for Christmas Parties

This year, I decided to bring back Group Class Week at my piano studio. My reasoning was three-fold: First, my students love getting together. Second, there are also concepts that are best taught in a group class setting. Finally, with juggling multiple jobs as well as my studio, I needed to build in some time to catch up on studio administration and planning. Replacing regular lessons with one group class per teaching night gave me that much needed time to work and/or rest.

The focus for this month's group class was Bulletproofing Your Christmas Music. We explored likely scenarios one could face at a Christmas party, social or community setting, such as:

1. You have been asked to perform and you need to play for a longer amount of time than you are prepared for.

2. You have been asked to play something that you don't know (well).

3. You have been roped into playing during a Christmas Carol sing-along and the singers ask for a different key.

4. You get tossed in with other musicians and are asked to play as a group.

5. You want to show off something really cool.

Making Your Music Longer

Haley and Grayson brainstorming on ways to vary their Christmas music. Photo credit: Rhona-Mae Arca.

Anyone who has performed at church or a gig knows that sometimes, you need to adjust your playing time on the fly. If the piece is too long, you find a logical place to cut it. But what if you only have a handful of pieces prepared and you are "asked" to play for twice as long as you have pieces?

My students did some brainstorming and experimenting. Everything came down to the same theme: repeat the song and vary it somehow. Here's what they came up with:

• Move the piece up or down an octave when you repeat it.

• Add embellishments (ornaments) to the melody.

• Improvise for a verse and then play it "normally" once again.

• Alter the rhythm, articulation, dynamics, or tempo.

• Vary the accompaniment.

Playing a Song that You Don't Know (Well)

My students have heard the story of when I was visiting relatives in California. We visited one house with a grand piano. Sure enough, I was asked to play a few songs. I went through my playlist and improvised, but they still wanted me to play. Reluctantly, I opened up the piano bench and began to sight-read kundiman (classic Filipino love songs), while my aunts and uncles sang along. I say "reluctantly" because I disliked sight-reading at the time.

Dragged to the piano to play and not allowed off until the aunts and uncles are happy - if it can happen to me, it can happen to you! Photo: Jun Ancheta.

Then, I had my students work on a Christmas song they weren't familiar with and we discussed different ways to cheat and fake their way through such a performance, based upon their current playing level. These are some of the ideas they came up with:

• Play block chords instead of the scored accompaniment.

• Play the melody only (for beginners).

• Recruit someone else to play through the bass clef notes while you play the treble clef part.

• Only play an excerpt of the piece.

Transposing Music on the Fly

Most classically trained music students are taught transposing in music theory. However, they are usually taught how to write out a transposed melody. In the real world, we should be able to transpose on sight at our instrument. Sure, we may be lucky enough to play on a digital piano with a transpose function, but what if there's only an acoustic piano? What if you're playing along with someone whose music is not in concert pitch?

We just glossed through this area as this is best taught one-on-one. However, we did discuss intervallic reading and chording.

Jamming on Christmas Music with Family and Friends

This was perhaps the hardest challenge for most of my students, depending upon what they were playing.  The kids on hand percussion and the cajón were fine once I showed them a few rhythms to try.  But most had a challenge splitting the piano part up. If someone is playing the melody on flute and the chords on guitar, then as the pianist, you get to explore playing off the page - which is not the norm for today's classical musician.

My beginners were fine with just playing with one hand. Most of my intermediate and advanced students fought with themselves a bit. The desire to play what's on the page was strong. As for my Conservatory Canada Contemporary Idioms students? Generally, it was a piece of cake for them.

Showing off at the Piano

 The first thing that comes to mind when I think about showing off at the piano is the Video Game Pianist, Martin Leung, AKA the Blindfolded Pianist:

Other ways of showing off that my students and I discussed included: playing with our hands crossed, playing upside down, and kicking each other off the piano - without missing a beat.

We explored what I called the Jingle Bells Relay. One person began to play this popular Christmas song. Then, one by one, another student would come up to the piano and cut in. The transition had to be sorted out and completed without missing a beat. The ones who successfully did this communicated clearly when and where they would be cutting in. They also kept things consistent by cutting in from one side the piano and exiting off the other.

Oh, there were some fumbles, but hey! They're all learning experiences.

Carly, Claire, and Tanya show off the Jingle Bells Relay in action. Photo by Rhona-Mae Arca.

Over the next few lessons, I will reinforce the one or two group class activities that piqued their interest. I don't expect them to like everything they tried at last week's music group class. However, I do hope that the class opened their ears and minds up to new possibilities. And if they are dragged onto the piano this Christmas Break, at least they aren't going in blind. Forewarned is forearmed.

My KonMari Journey: Clothes and Books

My KonMari journey began last summer, after several friends urged me all spring to give it a try. I liked the idea of decluttering by category versus room as well as going from easy (clothes), gradually working our way up to hard (sentimental items).

Before jumping in though, I checked out some YouTube videos on the subject. I especially enjoyed watching Lavendaire's video on organizing her closet:

I then found a fantastic KonMari checklist on Jersha & Dup's site and jumped in. Sometime between decluttering clothes and books, I purchased Marie Kondo's book, The Magical Art of Tidying Up. It was a very quick read.

KonMari Method Round 1: Clothes

Applying the KonMari Method on clothes was fairly easy. I believe it took me one or two weeks, most likely because I have done some decluttering on a yearly basis. However, this was the most aggressive decluttering that I have ever done.

Although Marie Kondo states to keep only what sparks joy, I stretched my criteria to include, "Items I Need for Work" and "Things that Make Me Feel Good." Everything that didn't meet this criteria was given away to family, friends, students, and charity. Let's just say I have quite a few Hero Cards from Value Village. 

I went by section off of Jersha & Dup's list, so one day, I tackled shirts. Next day, pants. It was illuminating to see just how many items I was hanging onto that no longer fit or I simply hadn't worn for years. After some heavy duty KM-ing, I had tons of room in my closet and dresser to give each item a proper home. 

I am pleased to say that one year later, everything generally goes back to their home when not in use. There is definitely a sense of belonging to see them placed in their allotted cubbyholes.

This is the longest that my t-shirt drawer has ever been this organized.

My parents picked up three of these units at a garage sale. Since they weren't using them, I snagged them to organize my purses, stuff in my craft room, and my winter gloves, scarves, etc.

KonMari Round 2: Books and More Books

I didn't think that I was a huge bibliophobe, but I do have a sizeable personal and work-related book collection. It was impossible to get all my books (including music books) into one room for the discarding process, so again, I went in categories.

This was the beginnings of my discarding phase in the music studio.

Some of the books that I let go of.

KMi-ing my book collection was also a Summer 2015 project. It wasn't particularly difficult to decide what to let go of. Yes, I let go of books I liked, but they weren't ones I liked enough to want to re-read in the short-term or books that I had re-read on a regular basis. 

My piano students and their parents got first crack at my book discards. Next, a friend who had opened a music school (Flamingo School of Music) went through it. Many of her students are either from low income families or just immigrated to Canada, so the donations were put to good use.

Next, I took books to the Calgary Public Library, then Calgary Co-Op's book sharing bin and Value Village. Sadly, some books weren't wanted by any of these places and wound up in recycling.

One year later, my personal book collection remains organized (with a special basket for books I'm borrowing). My music library remains a work in progress. I'm going to recruit my students to help me re-shelve the books after their lessons for coveted Maestro Bucks.

My personal library - one year after getting the KonMari treatment.

Next time, I'll share my ongoing experiences with paper decluttering. It's been quite the journey - and it's not over yet! Here's a preview:

Before he passed away, Maestro was quite the KonMari Supervisor. As you can see, he wasn't impressed with the amount of paper I had amassed.